Mania

So I am having one of THOSE days.  You know what I'm talking about...  I can't stop moving.  Talking. Typing.  Liking FB posts.  Sharing FB posts...  Posting fb posts (yes I spend my idle time on Facebook if you haven't noticed). 

What's my motivation?

 

This is a previously written post that I felt I did a poor job with.  It was inspired by a response I had via facebook, and I don't feel I did that response justice.  My comments reflect how I relate to that feedback I had received, and has been changed to be more of a response, in style.  I'm still getting the hang of all this, so thanks for your patience.  I am sure many can understand, given the circumstances ;)

 

 The only time I'm motivated to get stuff done is when I've let it go so long that I'm mad enough to blast through it, or when someone's going to be visiting.  Either way, things get to the point that they are frustrating.  If there is no company coming over, and a kitchen full of dishes, I still want to get it done.  But there's this force inside that says "meh, no one else is doing it, why should you?"

The answer is this: Because I'm the one who wants it done, at least in that particular moment.

Pills do not provide motivation.  This is absolute, to me.  Pills gave me the ability to focus.  To concentrate.  My motivation, however, came from my parents, my teachers, my coach.  Now it comes from my parents and my managers at work.  It comes from my readers and friends.  It does not come from within.  Sometimes I feel like I need a babysitter to follow me around and make sure I stay on task.  I've said before that Freedom is perhaps the worst thing to happen to a young adult with ADHD.  It's addicting!

The best trick I ever learned was to get mad at myself to be motivated to do something.  I care about the state of my home, and my relationship with my family.  And I hate myself for not being the person I constantly wish I was.  It's not for lack of desire.  I know there are other's out there who feel like this!  You are not alone!

The power of the mind is, well, powerful!  It's harnessing that power that is the hard part.  Routine, routine, routine.  Structure is crucial.  I don't need a Dr. or Psych. or shrink to tell me that.  I have only to look back on my life, the times I had structure, and the times i didn't, and see the difference.

As always, thanks for reading!

"Pineapple Bacon Skewers" or "Spring is Coming"

I've been watching the weather all day.  Snow is no biggie, right?  Those of us who survived the groundhog day blizzard in chicago a few years ago scoff at this dusting.  Then I get an email from my NIU instructor. 

Class is cancelled

my favorite squirrel picture

I think a lot of poeple consider complaints about Winter to be annoying.  'Why can't people just suck it up?  It happens every year, right?'  Here's my take:  I LOVE winter.

the ADHD Zone: Captain WTF

Welcome to this evening's edition of "Andrew's blog goes manic". 

Imagine if you will, another dimension, where time and space exist differently.  You don't understand the world around you, and everything you experience affects you in ways it shouldn't, in ways others would frown upon.  You have just entered "The ADHD Zone".

 (Cue the Music)

Romance and Onions

What's the point of Valentine's day?  Why have one day out of the year designated to love?  To support Hallmark and Chocolatiers everywhere?  So many people this time of year shun the decorations and celebrations.

Here's my thinking.  Valentine's day is on the 14th of February.  You're all with me on that, right?  Good.  The 14th in the crux of our discussion.  See, to me, 14 tastes like onions.

Get over it

Some of the best advice I've ever given, or been given, is to get over it.  Granted, usually this is said with the least possible amount of tact, in the end, it is the best advice to follow 99% of the time.

Last night, I went to bed practically shaking with anger.  After a rough discussion through social media messaging (one of the worst ways to have an important conversation, but since I initiated it there, there it remained) I was told to "Get over it."  I was pretty upset.

The winter Blahs

When I began this blog, my intent was to capture all the many facets that make up my life, and how they are especially ADHD affected.  I want to also make it a point not to turn this into a pity party for myself when I'm feeling down.

That said, I can't very well capture the true essence of my ADD/ADHD life without touching the less appealing aspects of my character.  Lately I have been pretty out of touch with that little spark of insanity that helps me power through life.  I get this way every winter, it seems, and it's been getting worse every year.

One thing that I've admitted to in the past is my own guilt in my lack of routine, and the Sloth and Gluttony that have gripped my life and are slowly drowning me in self-pity and disappointment.