Baconlove

Rub Some Bacon on It: http://youtu.be/wSReSGe200A

One thing that, when you get to know me, is abundantly clear: I love bacon.  We all have something abnormal we almost obsess over, and for me that's bacon.  I have a bacon calendar on my desk at work, I have bacon flavored lip balm, bacon flavored floss, even a bacon air freshener in my car.  I share videos and memes about bacon, and do my part is spreading the word about the bacon revolution.

I know it's rediculous.  and in reality, I don't eat a whole lot of bacon (because then I'd get sick of it),  but it is great in everything as the primary ingredient (bacon and eggs, bacon pancakes, etc) or as a condiment or added flavor for salad or meatloaf or ice cream or anything edible. 

ADHD comes with the ability to hyperfocus, though we often don't realize it.  Even been able to read an 1100 page book front to back, before realizing you just spent about 13 hrs straight reading?  I've done that, and at the time had never heard the term hyperfocus.  Think about the things you are crazy about.  Toe socks? Bacon? Pizza?  Beer?  My daughter has a pencil collection, I have a rock collection and a shell collection.  Even our collecting hobbies can be reinforced by our ADHD, and can help treat it!  I digress...

Bacon.

Studies have shown bacon to provide therapy for many things from anxiety to PMS, and supports healthy pregnancy.  Bacon is a well known hangover remedy, as well as a cure for the common headache. 

go eat bacon, and experience a little piece of my world...

The beast has resurfaced

Why so serious?  I often ask myself this same question, but with much less enthusiasm, angst, and donut face then my daughter in the video above.  Lately I've found myself letting loose a bit, and I tell ya, it's weird. 

With me, it's all or nothing.  I am either in complete control or completely out of control.  There is no "just relax a little" when I get uptight or tired. Yesterday I let loose with a few videos I came across on facebook, with very little damage done.  However, offline, I was a complete waste.  I usually get a few hours of studying in each day, but yesterday I did none.  I joked around with my coworkers all day.  Some of you might say "so what?"  but now here I am, the next day, still having done nothing but eat a shitload of candy and goof around all morning, rippin out this gnarly blog on a whim with no real purpose... but some days are like that.  No purpose. 

I get like this sometimes and think about how different things were with meds and wonder why I ever wanted to stop.  Look at what I'm capable of, however, with a little freedom from the Ritalin Ball-and-Chain. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QZ-hhTbyzew&index=2&list=FLzIZ-1evkXb71_XphBsztUQ

I can't put the actual video on the blog because it's not listed, but it's my daughter and I performing Little Bunny Fufu in character...  Who does that?  Certainly not Medicated Andrew.  Just saying.  Then there's the Friends I've made.  I have to say I'm glad to have taken the time to get off meds and learn more about my "tribe" as we so affectionately refer to ourselves.  I have come to know more about myself and others like (and unlike) me with ADHD.

So as far as being medicated, I will continue not to be.  It's ok to be unsure though, from time to time. 

bacon.

Health Insurance, Big Brother, And you

A little Off Topic, I know; this is a conversation I've found myself getting sucked into more and more lately as my company's health insurance provider is going to be charging a surcharge for not submitting a biometric screening by enrollment.


Usually the Health Insurance conversation with a blogger in my "field" is more related to prescriptions, Doctors vs. Shrinks, and the like.  Not today.  In an expected turn of events, the health insurance provided by my employer has made changes which, in keeping with a long insurance tradition, will provide a way for the insurance money to make a little more money.  But this time, it's not through risk assessment, per se, but rather more like a parent saying to a child "I've had enough".  Health insurance is not cheap.  Not for the insured; and, increasingly, not for the insurer.  More and more people are getting sick, or just simply not taking care of themselves.  "It's rediculous that 'Big Brother' is getting in our business like this'".  

Road Rage 3: the invisible egg

Sometimes I feel like daytime drivers are all part of a union, which requires them to mess with people and just be all around douchbags on the road. 

I had to make a stop at the Dr's office this morning on the way to work.  First I get routed all over Northern Illinois because there is construction EVERYWHERE.  I've finally gotten back to the intersection that will put me on the road I need to get to the DR, and I see this dude driving backward down the wrong side of the road, through the intersection.  WTF?  I make my turn into the lane he was in, only to find out why he was driving backward... There was an accident.  Car was bent in half around a street light, and the fire truck that responded was blocking both lanes, so the road was closed and traffice was being diverted.  By now its too late for me to get out of it, so I'm stuck waiting for traffic to crawl by this accident (which occured at an intersection, so all for ways are being controlled by traffic cops.  It took me 45 min to drive a quarter mile  The dude in the car behind me is eating with his mouth open, spilling food all over himself. Gross.  I'm pretty sure the dudes in the car next to me are rolling a joint.  Really?  Really.
  So I did not have time to stop, and it took me 2 hrs to get to work instead of the anticipated ~75 min.  I didn't have an appt, just needed to pick something up, so the Dr. thing was no biggie.  But now, again, I'm detoured all over the suburbs trying to find a new route to work.

A Friend Worth Sharing my Bacon With

What does it mean to be a friend in 2014?  What does it mean to lose a friend?  to gain a friend?  Friendships can be a bitch to maintain these days.  First of all, people have to move where the work is.  Location is a huge factor in maintaining friendship.  Then, of course, none of us have money to actually go out and do things.  Lastly, technology has made us socially ignorant when outside the virtual world.  Now add ADHD.  What needs to be done to actually spend quality time with friends?  Well there's scheduling, remembering...  9 times out of 10, when I see an invite to an event or get a call to do something, I have to decline.  I'm either working, have something to do with the family, or I just don't have the money to come.  I care about my friends, but I hang out with my friends so rarely that I often feel awkward or "out of the loop."

 A perfect example (and really what inspired me to write this entry) was a recent wedding.

Dating and ADHD

How have I not touched on this?  Ever?

Dating with ADHD can be SUPER tough, or super easy, depending on how your life so far has affected your confidence and your social abilities.  I sucked.  I ruined a lot of friendships and relationships for the simple reason that I had no idea what I was doing.  I had no idea that hanging out with a girl would lead my girlfriend to think I was cheating.  I had no idea that when I started dating one of my best friends, I'd have to kiss her (regularly).  Then I grew up a little (or not at all LOL) and discoverred that even though I now knew these things, I could still not control myself enough to have a meaningful relationship.  I honestly wish I had learned what I know now when I was like, 11, so I wouldn't have spoiled so many opportunities as a teenager to actually have an enjoyable relationship.  I was drawn to people who were drawn to me.  Either those who were a bit socially awkward like myself, or complete narcissists who need the attention they got from a People Pleaser. The latter could never understand why I suddenly lost interest and accused me of not caring (which, at that point, was accurate).  The former expected who-knows-what from me and I didn't provide it, because neither of us ever knew how to talk to each other.  I'm glad my wife is awesome and we're married, because if I had to get back into the dating world these days, I wouldn't survive LOL.

My advice, based completely on my own experiences and probably not nearly applicable in anyone else's circumstances: Date often,  don't force it and don't go professing your love for the first boy or girl who gives you the time of day (otherwise everyone after becomes the new "love of your life" and you never get to learn what love is).  Relax and have a good time.  Don't be afraid to hold hand or give a kiss, and don't feel obligated to go any further than you're comfortable.  It should be a learning experience until your 20's (it WILL be a learning experience at least that long.  I'm 33 and still learning!)


On the flipside of things, if you are dating or married to someone with ADHD, understand their emotions and thought processes ARE NOT the same as yours (even if you have ADHD also) and remember that your relationship should- and hopefully will- be an enjoyable adventure from start to finish.  If it turns into a "Wrong Turn" kind of adventure, don't just let it be.  Fix it, and fix it together.  This can be done.  I've done it.  It's not easy, but knowing that ADHD relationships are high maintenance from the start will help you get through.  Communication is key.  Therapy may be needed.  You may experience a desire to throw away all the laundry that keeps piling up (and you're welcome to it, I hate laundry).  You may need time away (I call this "going fishing").  Don't be afraid.  Tough it out whenever possible, because afterward a successful relationship is all the more appreciated for the work you put into it.


Lastly,  Remember that there is ADHD involved.  Address your relationships just like you would anything else in your ADHD life.  Talk to your therapist, friends, or parents if that's what you do.  Be open and honest.  Do NOT judge. 

you'll be alright.

Finally (yes I just did that) remember that bacon will always be common ground for you to rebuild on.

Random epiphany: Utopia

How many times have you asked yourself, others, or have been asked: "What would you do if you won the lottery?" or "What would you do with $1billion?"   Are your first thoughts about your new luxury lifestyle or about helping your loved ones?  Are they about vacations?  Buying a plane, a nice car, or a big house? 

Every day I drive to and from work via a rural road, mostly through forest and field, thinking how nice it would be to have a few thousand acres of land to play with and do with what I please.  I have been thinking a lot about the economy lately, and my local ecology as well.  I have discoverred what my ideal life would be. Remember, this is ideal, not necessarily 100% realistic...

I would own 2-5 thousand acres of wetland/prairie ecology.  I would plant minimally, using only local, non invasive (ie silver maple and other trees which tend to take over) plants.  The land would be designated as a preserve, so would have to be in an area with protected wildlife (like wild horses) and I would live there with limited friends and family in a semi-communal lifestyle.  we'd provide our own agriculture.  There would be power, generated by the sun and wind.  Being a wetland, water would be well or stream, with a filtration system which requires minimal upkeep.  The filtration would begin where the water flows into the property, so everything in my ecosystem can experience clean water.  for those who still decided to work (say, to pay the property tax or maintenance costs of the land and lifestyle), there would be parking at the entrance, just like any state park or forest preserve.  The focus would be on clean living within a natural ecosystem.  There would be livestock (goats, sheep, horses, poultry) but also wildlife food sources (deer, berries, pheasants, etc).  We would live publicly (schooling, taxes, hospitals, etc) but with a minimal carbon footprint. 

why?

We are killing ourselves.  We pollute the land we live off of, and thus polute ourselves.  the people of the world need to retain the knowledge of how to care for the land and live off it.  We've lost touch with that.  Decades ago, the people who survived the Great Depression did so mostly because they knew how to be self sufficient.  They grew their own food and canned it for the winter.  They raised goats and chickens in their backyards.  They lived as extended families.  Recently, we had a large recession, and people panicked.  All you heard about was people being upside down in their mortgage, foreclosures, and the price of food and services going up.  People need to realize that they can save hundreds each month by planting a garden and owning a few chickens and goats for milk, eggs, and meat.  When society takes an enormous shit into the fan of life, I want to be among those who have time to duck.  Those who are self sufficient, yet still willing and able to contribute to society.

My Dream house would look something like this.

So my house would be solar powered.  My crops would have ditch irrigation. I would have Apples, berries, and various fruits and veggies like broccoli, tomatoes, celery, leafy greans, cucumbers, corn, peppers, chilis, peas, and squash; and of course roots like onions, potatoes, radishes.  I wouldn't use a microwave.  I'd have a fire-heated brick oven and an electric stove.  So of course there would also have to be plenty of hickory and oak on the land.  It'd be kinda like a commune, but not so cut off from society.  I'd maintain that connection so the reality of what today's society does, to the land and to each other, is always present.

So I guess this turned into a bit of a rant.  When I go to a forest preserve to run, or a river for tubing, I am at peace.  The less I see of societal impact on my surroundings, the happier I am. 

Maybe I need a Kickstart to make this a reality LOL!