Monday, May 5, 2014

An Interesting Conversation With my Shirt

carrying on the trend of trying to create for myself a healthy lifestyle, I had an interesting conversation this morning.  With my running shirt.

My wife woke me up this morning with a nudge, to tell me my alarm is going off.  This, of course, is why I have an alarm.  so she knows when to wake me up.  I hit snooze on the alarm, and she wakes me a gain 5 minutes later.  I turn the alarm off and begin the daily surrender to sleep. I roll to the side, and I'm staring at my clothes (in one of various piles of clean laundry neatly stacked against the wall waiting to finish the journey to my drawers).  There's my running shirt.  It's staring right back at me.  "dude, WTF happened to you?"it asks.


Before I can respond I am bombarded with tirade and reverie.

"Get out of bed, Worm!"

No, that's not my shirt.  but you get the idea.  "remember that kid you were?  The one with a 4:45 mi?  The Cross Country Phenom who, at 17 yrs old, ran a half marathon in under 80 min?"
     Yeah, I remember.
"So where is THAT guy?  Buried somewhere in that ginormous vault of a gut?  Get out of bed, get dressed, and go find that lean machine!"
     I dunno... It's warm in this bed.  Cold outside.  My foot's been hurting.
"Aren't you tired of the poor health?  Don't you want your wife to oogle at you, instead of those hot studs on tv?"
     Yeah, that'd be pretty nice...
"Plus if you get out of bed, the kids will get up too.  You know at least one of them will want to run too. You want to establish good habits in your kids so they don't end up in your predicament, right?"

Ok Ok, you win, shirt.

So I got up, got my running clothes on.  Next thing I know, my youngest is up.  "I wanna go for a run, Daddy!"  I say to her "Ok sweetie, as soon as I get back, we'll run to the water tower."

So I run my 1 mi loop, come back, get the little one, and my 7 yr old is up.  "I wanna run too!"  By now I'm awake, my kids are wanting to do something with me, so I'm like "Sure thing!  get dressed, we'll be right back!"  and while she's getting dressed my 4 yr old and I run toward the water tower.  Right next to the water tower is a little pond.  She's pointing out all the awesome garbage floating in the pond, and I'm thinking to myself "Dude, you owe that shirt a beer."  I get back, run another .25 mi with my 7 yr old, make coffee for my wife while the kids get ready to leave for the day, then we're out the door. An awesome beginning to my day.

So, when your laundry starts talking to you about what a slob you've become, listen.


  1. you are a goober of the most wonderful degree......You make me crack up!

  2. I got no such pep talk when my alarm told my wife to wake me up this morning. then the cat got under our bed and started scratching the bedframe. Annoying! But I'm feeling no less scrappy. I'll have to run tonight instead.