What is appropriate? It has been confirmed by many that I have a faulty filter. Yet, I might argue that my filter is better than most peoples'. Think of this: My mind thinks of more inappropriate things than most peoples. I'll agree to that. Yet of those inapporpriate ideas, I share very little. A select view will know I'm all about "What she said", toilet humor, and adult nonsense. Here's an examply of what I don't share:
I mean, that's funny, but I wouldn't want my parents to see it. (well, too late, now that it's here). The point is, there are times when I'm not considerred the most professional individual out there. Some people embrace my sense of humor, and thus I have an outlet.
Maybe you can relate? Maybe you've had those times (probably several if you have ADD) when you were caught up in the moment with a group of friends and just spouted off the first funny thing that came to mind, and not one person found it funny. It's like if I were talking to a few churchy people, who were engaged in the drama of the local congregation, when I put my 2 cents in:
Again, that's friggin hilarious. To me. The rest of the group, not so much, right? This has happened to me in classes as a kid, in the work place, and now, it tends to happen in my mind, and I am usually ok with it staying there. It took a long time to get here though, and I still often say things that people either don't understand, or are completely offended. I know I'm getting better though, because most of the people who know me will still be a bit surprised by the content of this post. Their responses will be something like:
If this isn't you, congratulations! You have enterred the innermost circle of those I trust to not judge me as I let loose my inner self.
Now, there's an anticipated response from all this. If you can't be yourself around someone, then they are not someone worth being around. While this is generally a true statement, I would counter it with this: There's a whole lot of shit that hits the fan when you say the wrong thing around the wrong people. Your boss, your parents, your teachers. Believe me, I've tested them all. Few have passed. I couldn't have made it without some of those who couldn't handle me, though. Certain teachers. My parents. I've driven friends away because they couldn't understand me. So my argument is two-fold:
1. Be cautious with judging that person with ADD/HD who is a little too goofy for your taste. They may be controlling themselves more than you think.
2. For those who feel they should be able to be whoever they want, whenever, remember that to get by in life, sometimes your first impression needs to appease and build trust, before you can unload your true awesomeness on someone. That shit just can't be undone!
Lastly, you are not alone in your endeavors to understand and/or cope with being "different"
I myself have found a few places where I can be myself or find comfort in numbers. None are real places, of course, but virtual groups. Blogs. Etc. Check 'em out:
And of course my own facebook group:
Remember that it's ok to be yourself, so long as you also are aware of how your actions affect your potential friendships, employment, etc., and that you're ok with those consequences.
Living with AD(H)D is a balancing act of acceptance and originality. I hope your scale tips in your favor.