Friday, February 7, 2014

the ADHD Zone: Captain WTF

Welcome to this evening's edition of "Andrew's blog goes manic". 

Imagine if you will, another dimension, where time and space exist differently.  You don't understand the world around you, and everything you experience affects you in ways it shouldn't, in ways others would frown upon.  You have just entered "The ADHD Zone".

 (Cue the Music)

Today's topic: help.  We all want it, we rarely want to ask for it, and when you have ADHD, you're not always happy when you get it.  Take Captain WTF for example (for those who are new to the game, Captain WTF is me).  When the good ol' captain's young scallywag children need supervision as he sails the high seas in search of plunder (Also known as working on the weekend), Commodore Mother-in-Law or Admiral Step-mom typically watch the bilge-rats to be sure they don't sink the ship.  No WTF there, right?  Of course not.  Much appreciated.  The best part if this is, most of the time, when Captain WTF returns, his home is Ship-Shape!  However, Captain WTF always recognizes the rediculous in everything and everyone but himself.  Who the heck doesn't know where the plates go?  And the glasses?  Why on earth aren't these spoons all together?!?!?! 

Welcome to my world.  The normal person coming home after working overtime on the weekend and having their house cleaned voluntarily by Gradma who also had her hands full all day with his kids would be ecstatic that the kitchen full of dishes were cleaned and put away and all 5 loads of laundry washed and folded!  Right?!  But this guy, Captain WTF, decided to be frustrated Each and Every Time he opens a cabinet door and has to take a moment to find what he's looking for because it's not in the precise place it belongs.  What a Prick, right?  That's me.  Captain WTF is good friends with Tantrum, though Tantrum rarely leaves the house (Tantrum, also me, see prior entries).  So here we are, one big happy whiny complainy family in my head, about to lose it because the person who stayed home and did everything for me didn't know exactly how I need the tupperware arranged.

A while ago (and I apologize that it's taken so long) someone asked me how I deal with this.  Well, I don't. Not well anyway.  I usually get thrown in the backseat and Captain WTF takes over.  Nothing is satisfactory.  Imagine if you will, being so thankful someone went WAY out of their way to help you, then spending the next week being frustrated.  I tend not to handle much of anything the way a "Normal" person would.  I know I should be thankful.  Heck, I AM thankful!  I couldn't ask for a more supportive family.  I couldn't express my appreciation in words if I tried.  So here's my answer: I try my best to keep things under wraps, and remind myself that eventually, I'm going to wear those pants, or use that tupperware, and wash it, and put it away myself, at which point it will be like this never happened.  Except I will have had a break from the washing and putting away for a bit, which is REALLY nice.

The bigger pictuer is this: Don't expect "Normal" or "rational" from your own Captain WTF, Tantrum, or Mr. What-Were-We-Talking-About? because Normal doesn't exist for us.  It may take days to realize the correct meaning of something you say that we misinterpreted.  It may take days before we tell you thank you, when you did all our housework and we spent the next week complaining about having to find everything.  Remember that behind these mentalities lies a sincere, thankful, appreciative and maybe even polite Andrew (or insert your kid/spouse/sibling/parent's name here). 

Thanks for reading! 

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