12/30/2013
I believe that I am improving in recognizing those days where Anxiety or Temper are getting the best of me, or will. This time, my wife saw it before I did.
My 3 yr old wakes up fairly early yesterday AM. I get up, fire up the tv and Wii, and she decides she wants to go back and snuggle with her mommy, then changes her mind to go back to her room to snuggle with her oldest sister. Leaving me with the Wii and about 6 hrs of sleep. Technically, I'm still a college student... so this should be something I can handle, right? WRONG! This particular game is a bit sensitive in the controls, and this causes me to die. Over and over again. I start getting frustrated. As the morning progresses, my kids get up and start their morning rituals of random coloring, reading, and watching whatever's on the TV. Then my wife gets up, and by now I'm raging at the game.
Monday, December 30, 2013
Friday, December 27, 2013
Call Dropped
For those who did not already know, I work in a call center. Which means I get calls from the nicest people, and the not-so-nicest people. Sometimes, ADHD serves me better than I could hope, at the most unexpected times.
I got a call earlier today from a man who wasn't too happy with the service he had been receiving. He gave me his information and I looking up his file. Meanwhile, he begins his story. The first individual he worked with was rude and did not take his situation seriously. He had called afterward requesting someone else take a look, anyone but that guy. Guess who he's talking to next? Yep. That guy he didn't want anything to do with. So this customer is going on and on about his situation (for about 15 min) while I say nothing. In fact, I completely spaced out. In my mind, I had taken advantage of a pause in the call to advise him politely that I completely understood his concerns, but that I am not the person he needs to speak to, and that I would have a manager give him a call when they get back in the office. He then began his story all over again (as they often do) at which point I interrupted and stated that I'd rather not waste his time by continuing on this path which I was unable to assist with.
I got a call earlier today from a man who wasn't too happy with the service he had been receiving. He gave me his information and I looking up his file. Meanwhile, he begins his story. The first individual he worked with was rude and did not take his situation seriously. He had called afterward requesting someone else take a look, anyone but that guy. Guess who he's talking to next? Yep. That guy he didn't want anything to do with. So this customer is going on and on about his situation (for about 15 min) while I say nothing. In fact, I completely spaced out. In my mind, I had taken advantage of a pause in the call to advise him politely that I completely understood his concerns, but that I am not the person he needs to speak to, and that I would have a manager give him a call when they get back in the office. He then began his story all over again (as they often do) at which point I interrupted and stated that I'd rather not waste his time by continuing on this path which I was unable to assist with.
Tuesday, December 24, 2013
Religion and ADHD
Loaded Topic? Sure. I'm hoping to get some discussion going with this on, either on Google+ and/or Facebook. Notice I said religion, and not spirituality. What's the difference? I suppose it depends on who you ask. For the sake of discussion, lets say Spirituality is your belief of a higher power. This could be your Higher Power in NA/AA, God, Allah, Thor, Superman, AOL... it yours to have and understand as you will. For some, there is no higher power per se, just life to live how one chooses. All of these are acceptable and work for this discussion. Religion, on the other hand, while still being your will, is more organized, and we'll consider it to be a provided method, in a somewhat controlled environment, with which you learn about and your higher power and support/practice your beliefs. I know this may be a bit unorthodox (no pun intended...) given our definition of higher power, but work with me.
I have heard many (And certainly not all) arguments for and against "organized religion." It's too controlling, it's not controlling enough. It's not completely in line with my beliefs. There's nothing out there that I agree with 100%. I don't believe in God. Religion is to commercialized... There are a lot of reasons to challenge the idea of Church, Tent, Prayer, and anything organized.
Monday, December 23, 2013
A weekend of Accomplishment
I've said before that I want to endeavor to be more selfless, and more supportive, at home. This weekend was a huge success at that. My wife had a rough week last week, and thankfully had the entire weekend off. We stayed home all weekend, watching movies with the kids and relaxing. I engaged the kids more, playing Just Dance with my 6 yr old, reading to my 3 yr old, and doing other all around childish things with them. I made dinner both nights, washed ALL the laundry, cleaned the kitchen, vacuumed... without asking or expecting help from anyone. These were all things I needed to do or wanted done, so I took it upon myself to do them, from playing with the kids to cleaning up the house. It wasn't easy. There were times where I almost reverted back to being put off that everyone was just being lazy while I was doing all the work, but I told myself these are thing that I had wanted done (dishes, laundry, etc), so I shouldn't expect my wife and kids to drop what THEY are doing just because of what I want. I did what I felt should be done, and felt accomplished having done it without being a jerk about it.
My wife got to relax. she didn't have to make dinner at all (she did make lunch on Saturday, and it was delicious), she didn't have to pick up after the kids (that is one thing I did make them do); heck, she didn't even have to get out of her PJ's! I did that for her. I was proud of myself, and she was thankful, which made me feel appreciated. All in all, it was totally worth going the extra mile to get things done myself. I think I will be able to make a habit of it ;)
My wife got to relax. she didn't have to make dinner at all (she did make lunch on Saturday, and it was delicious), she didn't have to pick up after the kids (that is one thing I did make them do); heck, she didn't even have to get out of her PJ's! I did that for her. I was proud of myself, and she was thankful, which made me feel appreciated. All in all, it was totally worth going the extra mile to get things done myself. I think I will be able to make a habit of it ;)
Thursday, December 19, 2013
road rage
I'm driving down the highway the other night, after a somewhat stressful day at work. I see a driver in the far left lane, driving just slower than the traffic around him. As a car tries to pass him and merge, he speeds up. They make it around him anyway, so he turns his high-beams on. I see him do this to a few poeple before finally getting out of the fast lane (where he continues to drive like an ass in the middle lane). I eventually pass him myself, without incident, and end up just in front of him as we take the same exit a few miles down the road. He seems to drive normally (as I passed on the highway, I noted he was an older man, maybe mid to late 60's), not like some older people, who tend to drive somewhat slowly on this country road we are on. We stop at a light. It turns green. I start to go through the intersection when an oncoming car decides to run the red arrow and cut me off to get through the intersection. WTF. I proceed to drive after this, but the guy from the highway decides I did something wrong, and after only about 1/4 mi, turns his brights on and proceeds to attempt to crawl into my exhaust, exiting to a turn lane just before hitting me.
Tuesday, December 17, 2013
For the Love of Music
Music. It's everywhere. The language of the world. There is a time and a place for music. For me, it's anytime, any place. And I listen to everything. I'm listening to music right now. Killswitch engage: The End of Heartache. When I'm feeling hyper and rebellious, it's ICP, Twiztid, Korn, Avenged Sevenfold, Rob Zombie... the list goes on, but you get the idea. When I'm doing housework, it's classic rock, from Kansas to ACDC, and of course one of my favorites: KISS. Dinner time is usually a little more mellow, Santana, Gypsy Kings, anything with Spanish Guitar, as well as the Eagles. Some people tell my that if they couldn't tell by just knowing me, my shuffle shouts ADHD. My favorites include KISS, Less Than Jake, Metallica, Korn, NOFX, Aerosmith, Static X, Busta Rhymes, TOOL and Ludacris. I really enjoy listening to ICP and Twiztid as well, but that's an acquired taste lol. Regardless of the mood, I have the music to match it. When I have school work or projects at work, the hard rock comes out and the determination and motivation to get things done is unleashed! I had a hard time in high school with some of my classes until I discovered that Metallica and Apocalyptica really meshed well with my thoughts and provided just the right amount of stimulation to stay focused. When I had a paper route, and had to drive and deliver for anywhere from 4 hours to 6 hours in the early AM, music kept me awake. I had an iPod classic, 32g I believe, and it was full. Almost 6k songs. Pantera: Walk. So that's my stand on music in general.
Monday, December 16, 2013
What to do...
Do you ever have those days where you have something you want to do, but just don’t get to it for all the distractions the day throws your way? This blog was going to be about Music and the vital role it plays in the day to day for me, but that will have to wait until tomorrow. Otherwise I will forget about this LOL.
When it gets slow, I tend to pass the time watching a few programs on TV. I did so this morning, planning on writing the blog entry afterwards. I knew I should stop and write, but when the next show came up, I found myself watching it. I read earlier today that many with ADHD have a hard time saying no. I also have found I have a hard time doing what I should, when there is something I’d rather do, especially if it requires less energy. Dishes pile up, laundry is left unfolded. This is something that I’ve recently decided I would endeavor to work passed. And yet here I am, the morning is gone, it’s after 5pm, and I’m just getting to it. This isn’t how I intended to spend my day, and yet still I could not stop what I was doing. Even now I have pretty much lost interest in what I’m trying to write and have to force myself to continue. This is something that’s been an issue for me as long as I can remember, but I’ve never really made a conscious effort do overcome it. I find myself at a bit of a loss, as I’ve resolved to stay away from medication. My efforts to make other changes to my life to be healthier have not worked out so well either. I always decide to sleep in and eat fast. I will continue to endeavor, but I am afraid of the outcome. Win or lose, this should be an epic battle to gain control over myself. I’m sure some of it will be blogworthy…
Sunday, December 8, 2013
Kitchen adventures
Just another unplanned ADHD adventure. Something you typically don't want to have in the kitchen.
Today my wife had work to do so I was in charge. We played ALL DAY. My younger two and I played Candyland (with the older of them pulling all the cards and moving all the pieces, yet magically never winning herself) and otherwise occupied ourselves with video games (not something we do regularly... well not something they do regularly) until it was time to get dinner ready. I planned it all out: pan fried pork chops, with sweet potatoes (from the box... not my usual cup of tea) and butterhorn rolls. The rolls of course would take the longest, with prep and bake time, so I started those first. I was really proud of myself, having a sink full of hot soapy water for dishes to go into as soon as I was done with them, knowing what I was going to make and when to start it. I just managed to miss one key detail: the dough for the rolls has to rise for 60 min. Well crap.
So, 1 hr 35 min later (give or take), as we've just finished eating the chops and the potatoes, the first of 2 batches of rolls was just coming out of the oven. They were delicious. Even the most well planned dinner can turn out a little ...off, but that's ok. Enjoy the rolls and the fact the kitchen is clean almost immediately after dinner. That's what I did.
Today my wife had work to do so I was in charge. We played ALL DAY. My younger two and I played Candyland (with the older of them pulling all the cards and moving all the pieces, yet magically never winning herself) and otherwise occupied ourselves with video games (not something we do regularly... well not something they do regularly) until it was time to get dinner ready. I planned it all out: pan fried pork chops, with sweet potatoes (from the box... not my usual cup of tea) and butterhorn rolls. The rolls of course would take the longest, with prep and bake time, so I started those first. I was really proud of myself, having a sink full of hot soapy water for dishes to go into as soon as I was done with them, knowing what I was going to make and when to start it. I just managed to miss one key detail: the dough for the rolls has to rise for 60 min. Well crap.
So, 1 hr 35 min later (give or take), as we've just finished eating the chops and the potatoes, the first of 2 batches of rolls was just coming out of the oven. They were delicious. Even the most well planned dinner can turn out a little ...off, but that's ok. Enjoy the rolls and the fact the kitchen is clean almost immediately after dinner. That's what I did.
Friday, December 6, 2013
Triggers: an Epiphany
I made a breakthrough realization yesterday.
So here I am, getting annoyed with my wife. She's acting out of sorts and of course I'm just laying there in bed last night dwelling on it. Then I realized, I was acting the same way she was. Huffing and puffing and being antisocial. So this is how I realized that she was having a bad day, by how frustrated I was getting. There are few things I dislike more than my wife's unhappiness. I think, subconsciously I've always gotten defensive about it. Now I'm sitting here, and I'm thinking back on all the times we get into arguments. It usually starts with one of us being in a bad mood, and the other taking it personally. ESPECIALLY ME.
What I wouldn't give to be that husband who is always calming. That husband who is the rock of the family. kids respect him, wife depends on him and appreciates him, because he is constantly showing his appreciation for her. We all know that perfect husband image: never gets mad, always puts the needs of his wife and kids before his own, breaks everything he tries to fix. I don't fix enough things to screw up on that end...
So here I am, getting annoyed with my wife. She's acting out of sorts and of course I'm just laying there in bed last night dwelling on it. Then I realized, I was acting the same way she was. Huffing and puffing and being antisocial. So this is how I realized that she was having a bad day, by how frustrated I was getting. There are few things I dislike more than my wife's unhappiness. I think, subconsciously I've always gotten defensive about it. Now I'm sitting here, and I'm thinking back on all the times we get into arguments. It usually starts with one of us being in a bad mood, and the other taking it personally. ESPECIALLY ME.
What I wouldn't give to be that husband who is always calming. That husband who is the rock of the family. kids respect him, wife depends on him and appreciates him, because he is constantly showing his appreciation for her. We all know that perfect husband image: never gets mad, always puts the needs of his wife and kids before his own, breaks everything he tries to fix. I don't fix enough things to screw up on that end...
Tuesday, December 3, 2013
Living at Home: Moving in with Mom ...ANNNDD Moving Back Out
I asked my mom for her input on what it was like having me move in with her as an adult. Keep in mind, this was about 8 years ago, and only a glimpse at my relationship with her. Things did not work out for us in this instance, however we are still close and I consider her one of my best friends. Let me further preface this with the fact that communication had been lacking in our household most of my life, constantly being a source of destruction in its absence.
She began her account with high school. She remembers things much differently than I do, which of course is because of our lack of communication at that time. She relates her difficulty in watching me stumble and eventually fall in my steps toward graduation and ultimately college. This also reflects my family’s high expectations of me in school. Now, granted, I have already written about how my studies, etc. suffered in high school, however I still graduated with a cumulative B average, and tested out of math in my college entrance exams. How many parents out there would see this as falling? However, I think she is referring to what I have referred to in the past: the difficulty of staying on track, and the failings in focus and attendance in school. It is also during this time that she and my dad divorced and she moved out. So the difficulties I had, and the difficulties of living with me during this time, were her last memories of having me in the household.
Now, fast forward almost 6 years.
Friday, November 15, 2013
Be a better person
One thing I have always struggled to deal with is self control. As a kid, this meant I was a little rambunctious. As a teenager this was more focus related. I couldn't do my homework without having a snack and some music going while I worked. As an adult, this leans more toward emotional control. I constantly find myself lost in the moment, letting my emotions get the best of me. I give in to my temper more than I should, and I'm starting to see my kids mirror this activity. Sometimes we need to remind ourselves of how we appear to our family. Picture someone you have a lot of respect for and ask "Would I want this person to see me like this?" Sometimes it's just best to walk away.
Temper feeds on stress. If you haven't gotten the right amount of sleep, nutrition, etc, your stress can contribute to the emotions of the moment. I have decided to take control of my life and my emotions. This is how.
Temper feeds on stress. If you haven't gotten the right amount of sleep, nutrition, etc, your stress can contribute to the emotions of the moment. I have decided to take control of my life and my emotions. This is how.
Monday, November 11, 2013
Meds: Because sometimes, you feel like a nut.
I hated Ritalin. I divorced that ball and chain, and the Alimony I was stuck with was self control. I lost it all. After a few years of freedom, it was clear to me I needed to reconcile. Here's how that went...
Some people, myself included, say that Ritalin doesn't affect them physically. Well, I used to say that. After being off for awhile, things changed. At first, it was like I was a walking heart paliptation. I was an anxious, nervous wreck. Sweaty palms, shortness of breath... the whole kit and kaboodle. This passed after a few days, turning into a prolonged case of the jitters. Like I had had 4 energy drinks too many. If you are thinking about changing medication, or getting back on medication, this is something to watch out for, and keep your Dr. in the loop! Your body chemistry might be different now, and a different medication might be better. For me, the decision was made to stick with the Ritalin until my body had a chance to adjust. Of course, I also had to get back into the routing of taking it twice a day, everyday. I was going back to school, living in a different place, working a different job... This was tough! But I did it, and it worked.
As I've stated before, I absolutely hated Ritalin... before.
Some people, myself included, say that Ritalin doesn't affect them physically. Well, I used to say that. After being off for awhile, things changed. At first, it was like I was a walking heart paliptation. I was an anxious, nervous wreck. Sweaty palms, shortness of breath... the whole kit and kaboodle. This passed after a few days, turning into a prolonged case of the jitters. Like I had had 4 energy drinks too many. If you are thinking about changing medication, or getting back on medication, this is something to watch out for, and keep your Dr. in the loop! Your body chemistry might be different now, and a different medication might be better. For me, the decision was made to stick with the Ritalin until my body had a chance to adjust. Of course, I also had to get back into the routing of taking it twice a day, everyday. I was going back to school, living in a different place, working a different job... This was tough! But I did it, and it worked.
As I've stated before, I absolutely hated Ritalin... before.
Saturday, November 9, 2013
My Battle with Ritalin
it is hard to put into words my relationship with Ritalin. It tastes gross. it feels gross. I would have been a complete basket case without it. I could go on...
I think I will start with the broader picture. ADHD affects everyone differently. Some people can cope without medication. I was not one of those people. I fared well, for the most part, until high school. By then, I would go days, even weeks sometimes without taking my lunchtime dose at school or my afternoon dose at home. I started having a hard time focusing on my homework and tests. In fact, the only thing that kept me remotely interested in school was maintaining eligibility for running on the Cross Country Team. Even my performance on the team suffered. I completely lost the self discipline to apply myself at anything but reading and video games. But that's normal for a high school kid, right? Maybe...
Eventually I sat down with my parents and told them I wanted to stop.
Wednesday, November 6, 2013
Mommy's house, Daddy's house
So the title of this entry is actually the same as a great book I read regarding children with divorced parents and shared custody. One thing that the book states: There is no single home. There's Mommy's home and Daddy's home. You're not visiting one place or the other, you live at these homes.
So, when I say I left home in 2006, that's not to say I stayed in the same home until then. In 2005, I realized that having a daughter with a woman I was no longer in a relationship with meant I had to start accepting responsibility above and beyond taking care of my self. There was this beautiful little life that I needed to provide for and protect. So I left my dad's house and moved in with my mom, working with her for 3x my former income, thus increasing my child support dramatically. This also led me to a brilliant insight: Mommy's house is not the same and Daddy's house. Yes, both are home, but the structure is sometimes different. Hold that thought.
So, when I say I left home in 2006, that's not to say I stayed in the same home until then. In 2005, I realized that having a daughter with a woman I was no longer in a relationship with meant I had to start accepting responsibility above and beyond taking care of my self. There was this beautiful little life that I needed to provide for and protect. So I left my dad's house and moved in with my mom, working with her for 3x my former income, thus increasing my child support dramatically. This also led me to a brilliant insight: Mommy's house is not the same and Daddy's house. Yes, both are home, but the structure is sometimes different. Hold that thought.
Monday, November 4, 2013
Living at Home: Moving out - Aannnnd Moving back...
I'm moving out! The excitement that comes with this statement the first time we acheive freedom and independance is one-of-a-kind. I remember I was 19 or 20 when I first moved out. Now, my parents were well versed in the needs of an adolecent with ADHD, and I had a well-structured childhood. With their divorce in high school, I lost the respect I had for that structure and for my parents. I began my rush to get out shortly after graduating. I was living with my dad at the time, trying to go to college but constantly dropping all my classes. I couldn't handle the freedom that came from College. No all day/ attendance mandatory or you get suspended/ report cards sent home to parents to keep me in line. I would get bored and stop going to class, eventually dropping them all. In the meantime, I would pick up more hours at work. I soon realized that I could earn a decent income just working, and opted out of school altogether. My dad was less than pleased when I announced I was moving into an apartment with my girlfriend of two months, and looking back, who could blame him? No degree, working two part time jobs, and moving out. I was excited!
So I mentioned structure. No school, no full time employment, and freedom from rules is not the life for the unprepared ADHD tween. I was regularly late for work, when I wasn't calling in sick. I dabbled in drugs, partied fairly regularly, ate poorly; I just generally took poor care of myself and my life. When things weren't working out with my girlfriend, my best friend took her place as my room mate. Of course, I wasn't the greatest friend anymore, with my new found freedom and taste for fun...
So I mentioned structure. No school, no full time employment, and freedom from rules is not the life for the unprepared ADHD tween. I was regularly late for work, when I wasn't calling in sick. I dabbled in drugs, partied fairly regularly, ate poorly; I just generally took poor care of myself and my life. When things weren't working out with my girlfriend, my best friend took her place as my room mate. Of course, I wasn't the greatest friend anymore, with my new found freedom and taste for fun...
Saturday, November 2, 2013
Living at home: Support
Support is crucial to a person with A.D.H.D. Especially when it comes to structure and routine. These go hand in had for me. I have a place to charge my phone. A place to hang my keys, wallet, phone, etc. If for some reason i choose to charge my phone in another place, it could take me days to remember where. If I set my watch down to wash my hands, there is a good chance it will get left there. A.D.H.D. makes me a creature of habit and muscle memory.
Of course, who actually likes to keep things picked up, organized, with a place for everything and everything in it's place?
Friday, October 25, 2013
Getting What You Want
10/25/2013
We have ups and downs. Lately mine have been frequent. some days I am motivated and ready to get things done. others, not so much. The last couple days have been "not so much" days. I haven't been feeling well either, which of course doesn't help matters. Motivation to complete unwanted tasks is something I have had difficulty with for as long as I can remember. Waning motivation. It's like the tide, and it seems like I have to fight more and more for high tide.
I feel it's times like this when strength of mind is important. I have difficulty getting over how I feel and just making myself do what needs to be done. I don't think this is something specific to ADHD. We could all use some mental strength, right?
We have ups and downs. Lately mine have been frequent. some days I am motivated and ready to get things done. others, not so much. The last couple days have been "not so much" days. I haven't been feeling well either, which of course doesn't help matters. Motivation to complete unwanted tasks is something I have had difficulty with for as long as I can remember. Waning motivation. It's like the tide, and it seems like I have to fight more and more for high tide.
I feel it's times like this when strength of mind is important. I have difficulty getting over how I feel and just making myself do what needs to be done. I don't think this is something specific to ADHD. We could all use some mental strength, right?
Wednesday, October 23, 2013
Energy
Energy. something we tend to have a lot of (at least until our 30's)
One thing that probably saved me throughout adolescence was running. I ran and ran. I was a national competitor when I was 14 (AAU), and an IHSA State qualifier when I was 17. I ran a half marathon the summer before senior year with a sub-6 minute pace. As you can tell I am very proud of this.
Growing up with A.D.D., having something to work for, something to be proud of, helped me a lot. There were always times where I didn't fit in or felt out of place, and I could fall back on what I was good at. Most of the friends I had were runners who were willing to overlook my weirdness and hyperactivity because I was a valuable asset to the team. And when they got to know me, none of those things mattered. Running helped me gain acceptance.
One thing that probably saved me throughout adolescence was running. I ran and ran. I was a national competitor when I was 14 (AAU), and an IHSA State qualifier when I was 17. I ran a half marathon the summer before senior year with a sub-6 minute pace. As you can tell I am very proud of this.
Growing up with A.D.D., having something to work for, something to be proud of, helped me a lot. There were always times where I didn't fit in or felt out of place, and I could fall back on what I was good at. Most of the friends I had were runners who were willing to overlook my weirdness and hyperactivity because I was a valuable asset to the team. And when they got to know me, none of those things mattered. Running helped me gain acceptance.
Tuesday, October 22, 2013
Anxiety!
10/22/13
Anxiety. We all know it. Some too well.
I get it before I have to leave for work. Did I forget anything? Before a race. And recently, when registerring for classes.
I somehow had it in my head that registration began in Oct. I kept forgetting. Then I would tell my wife "I need to register for classes."
This went on for a week or so into October. Then, one day, I selected my classes and registerred. or tried to. I got an error message stating I did not have an active registration session. Then I remember an email I had received from my advisor stating registration starts mid-november. All this stress for nothing.
Anxiety. We all know it. Some too well.
I get it before I have to leave for work. Did I forget anything? Before a race. And recently, when registerring for classes.
I somehow had it in my head that registration began in Oct. I kept forgetting. Then I would tell my wife "I need to register for classes."
This went on for a week or so into October. Then, one day, I selected my classes and registerred. or tried to. I got an error message stating I did not have an active registration session. Then I remember an email I had received from my advisor stating registration starts mid-november. All this stress for nothing.
Wednesday, October 16, 2013
feeling lazy, but informative.
Just sharing a few links and such. I will post more later, but just not able to stay on track at the moment.
This is what happens when I'm feeling lazy and informative at the same time...
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Attention_deficit_hyperactivity_disorder_predominantly_inattentive
I actually did learn quite a bit from this wikipedia article, although I generally prefer medical journal or news articles for this particular topic.
This is what happens when I'm feeling lazy and informative at the same time...
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Attention_deficit_hyperactivity_disorder_predominantly_inattentive
I actually did learn quite a bit from this wikipedia article, although I generally prefer medical journal or news articles for this particular topic.
Saturday, October 12, 2013
Tough Mudder
10/12/13
So it just dawned on my I have yet to post about my Tough Mudder experience. so here we go:
About this time last yeat a buddy of mine gets this crazy notion to participate in a Tough Mudder Event. I figure it's about 9 months away so what the hell, let's give it a shot. He built a bit of an obstacle course for training and we'd meet once a week or so to train, along with doing some work on our own. My wife wasn't a big fan of this choice, since it still hadn't been that long since recovering from a spinal injury from a car accident, but once I paid the registration there was no turning back. It was worth the registration fee just to get in shape. I hadn't been able to do a pull up in years! I didn't lose much weight, but I got MUCH stronger. I will say this, having the motivation of team mates and money invested is very helpful in getting over any notion of procrastination, which is a HUGE obstacle for many or most of us with ADD or ADHD!
The event itself was a little more commercial than I had expected, but pretty well organized. I was one of the first heats, so the obstacles and course weren't too badly torn up. Believe me when I tell you the event is a FULL BODY WORKOUT!
So it just dawned on my I have yet to post about my Tough Mudder experience. so here we go:
About this time last yeat a buddy of mine gets this crazy notion to participate in a Tough Mudder Event. I figure it's about 9 months away so what the hell, let's give it a shot. He built a bit of an obstacle course for training and we'd meet once a week or so to train, along with doing some work on our own. My wife wasn't a big fan of this choice, since it still hadn't been that long since recovering from a spinal injury from a car accident, but once I paid the registration there was no turning back. It was worth the registration fee just to get in shape. I hadn't been able to do a pull up in years! I didn't lose much weight, but I got MUCH stronger. I will say this, having the motivation of team mates and money invested is very helpful in getting over any notion of procrastination, which is a HUGE obstacle for many or most of us with ADD or ADHD!
The event itself was a little more commercial than I had expected, but pretty well organized. I was one of the first heats, so the obstacles and course weren't too badly torn up. Believe me when I tell you the event is a FULL BODY WORKOUT!
Friday, October 11, 2013
#Awareness
10/11/13
So it's October. Lots of stuff happens in October. Perhaps the most recognized is Halloween. However there is much going on this month in reference to awareness. Customer Service Week is in October, as well as National Fire Prevention week. The Birthday of Mahatma Ghandi is Oct. 2, which is now observed as the international day of nonviolence. It's LGBT History Month, Breast Cancer Awareness Month, ADD Awareness Month, Domestic Violence Awareness Month, National Down Sydrome Awareness Month, and of course, National Squirrel Awareness Month. (All the above from http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/October ).
So it's October. Lots of stuff happens in October. Perhaps the most recognized is Halloween. However there is much going on this month in reference to awareness. Customer Service Week is in October, as well as National Fire Prevention week. The Birthday of Mahatma Ghandi is Oct. 2, which is now observed as the international day of nonviolence. It's LGBT History Month, Breast Cancer Awareness Month, ADD Awareness Month, Domestic Violence Awareness Month, National Down Sydrome Awareness Month, and of course, National Squirrel Awareness Month. (All the above from http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/October ).
Wednesday, October 2, 2013
Stupid People
10/2/13
The other day I heard someone talking about a friend or relative who had been offensive, and stated they didn't realize what they had said could offend anyone. This person I had heard went on and on about how her friend or relative is always blind to how her actions and statements affect others. She went on and on about how stupid her friend/relative must be to not get it.
I've been there. It's easy to make an observation or statement and have NO IDEA you've just said or done something offensive. Personally, my thought process is askew of normal, and this was a hard lesson to learn. My parents used to always tell me "Think before you say something" and I never did. It took me pissing off a lot of people to finally get it.
Be mindful of this, when dealing with your ADD or with someone who has ADD. We do not alway see the world around us in the same way. And keep in mind that just as we don't see things the way you do, you also do not see things the way we do. Maybe there's something you're missing. Either way, don't be quick to judge, and always think before you talk!
6/9/14
Forget just AD(H)D... this applies to everyone. And even if someone genuinely deserves such harsh criticism, you still have no business sharing their shortcomings with the world. #Manners.
The other day I heard someone talking about a friend or relative who had been offensive, and stated they didn't realize what they had said could offend anyone. This person I had heard went on and on about how her friend or relative is always blind to how her actions and statements affect others. She went on and on about how stupid her friend/relative must be to not get it.
I've been there. It's easy to make an observation or statement and have NO IDEA you've just said or done something offensive. Personally, my thought process is askew of normal, and this was a hard lesson to learn. My parents used to always tell me "Think before you say something" and I never did. It took me pissing off a lot of people to finally get it.
Be mindful of this, when dealing with your ADD or with someone who has ADD. We do not alway see the world around us in the same way. And keep in mind that just as we don't see things the way you do, you also do not see things the way we do. Maybe there's something you're missing. Either way, don't be quick to judge, and always think before you talk!
6/9/14
Forget just AD(H)D... this applies to everyone. And even if someone genuinely deserves such harsh criticism, you still have no business sharing their shortcomings with the world. #Manners.
Thursday, September 26, 2013
MY ADD: One of Those Days
9/26/13
-discussing further examples of what life with A.D.D. /A.D.H.D. is like for me. my goal with this is to help those without it to better understand it, and for those with it to have something to relate to.
My ADD
As I noted in my first blog post, I was diagnosed borderline ADD and ADHD. I have symptoms of both, more severe than some people, more mild than others. I like to think of it as a happy medium. Mostly I've learned to cope with it and recognize those moments where I need to buckle down and focus. Mostly. There is one thing I still struggle with it. I call it "One of those days."
One of Those Days
This day does not start like most. Right off the starting block it's off.
-discussing further examples of what life with A.D.D. /A.D.H.D. is like for me. my goal with this is to help those without it to better understand it, and for those with it to have something to relate to.
My ADD
As I noted in my first blog post, I was diagnosed borderline ADD and ADHD. I have symptoms of both, more severe than some people, more mild than others. I like to think of it as a happy medium. Mostly I've learned to cope with it and recognize those moments where I need to buckle down and focus. Mostly. There is one thing I still struggle with it. I call it "One of those days."
One of Those Days
This day does not start like most. Right off the starting block it's off.
Wednesday, September 25, 2013
Food as a metaphor for life: earning your dessert
9-24-13
One thing that was difficult for me to come to grips with as an only child was the concept of reason. More specifically, what is reasonable. For example, you don't get Ice Cream just because you want it and it's there. But I learned it.
Now here I am in the professional world. Reason is a lost concept. People don't realize how douche-esque they come across when making demands and claiming entitlement. Remember that the people you interact with also interact with you. Your server can spit in your food. Your boss can choose not to recommend you for a promotion. Your Customer will take their business elsewhere. Yes I went there... it's not just our customers in life that can be unreasonable. I know too many people who utterly disrespect everyone around them, and don't care. Whether you are receiving help or being asked for it, be respectful. Your parents will deny you ice cream if you throw a fit about having to eat a meal first.
So to recap
Just because you feel like you deserve Ice Cream, and you know there is Ice Cream in the Freezer, doesn't mean you can't be ok with having to finish your dinner first. Do what you can to accomodate those who you need to interact with if you expect them to accomodate you.
Oh, and don't go saying you can just go and get your own ice cream. if you could have, you would have.
One thing that was difficult for me to come to grips with as an only child was the concept of reason. More specifically, what is reasonable. For example, you don't get Ice Cream just because you want it and it's there. But I learned it.
Now here I am in the professional world. Reason is a lost concept. People don't realize how douche-esque they come across when making demands and claiming entitlement. Remember that the people you interact with also interact with you. Your server can spit in your food. Your boss can choose not to recommend you for a promotion. Your Customer will take their business elsewhere. Yes I went there... it's not just our customers in life that can be unreasonable. I know too many people who utterly disrespect everyone around them, and don't care. Whether you are receiving help or being asked for it, be respectful. Your parents will deny you ice cream if you throw a fit about having to eat a meal first.
So to recap
Just because you feel like you deserve Ice Cream, and you know there is Ice Cream in the Freezer, doesn't mean you can't be ok with having to finish your dinner first. Do what you can to accomodate those who you need to interact with if you expect them to accomodate you.
Oh, and don't go saying you can just go and get your own ice cream. if you could have, you would have.
Thank you for putting up with my metaphor-filled rant.
6/9/14
Addendum
First I just want to say that the word "Addendum" is so professional it hurts.
second, this was regarding customers calling in (I work in customer service) and being rude, going so far as to say that they will take their business elsewhere if they don't get what they want. Just in case that was lost in my rant. I would just like to add: Threatening and even acting on your threat to change parents, doesn't get you dessert without dinner; AND you run the risk of being provided with something even worse for dinner. These ignorant turds feel like they pay a premium to get what they want. No. You pay a premium to get what your policy says you get. you want something better, change your policy and pay more. This is how life works.
end rant.
6/9/14
Addendum
First I just want to say that the word "Addendum" is so professional it hurts.
second, this was regarding customers calling in (I work in customer service) and being rude, going so far as to say that they will take their business elsewhere if they don't get what they want. Just in case that was lost in my rant. I would just like to add: Threatening and even acting on your threat to change parents, doesn't get you dessert without dinner; AND you run the risk of being provided with something even worse for dinner. These ignorant turds feel like they pay a premium to get what they want. No. You pay a premium to get what your policy says you get. you want something better, change your policy and pay more. This is how life works.
end rant.
Tuesday, September 24, 2013
Making Lemonade
9-24-13
Just some friendly advice for everyone. ALWAYS review your situation on a regular basis to see if it can be improved. I have been making the best lemondade lately with Life's Lemons because I didn't follow this simple rule.
First of all, I was set to be laid off back in August, only to realize that my company actually had several jobs (even some promotions) available in my area and had for some time! I realized along with many of my coworkers that we had become so set in our routines we never bothered to look for something better, and it was there all along. I transferred out to a different dept and several of my colleagues were able to be transferred to different locations and retain their positions.
Second, my wife's car started having problems, and we eventually got a diagnosis on something which we really didn't want to be stuck paying to fix. We started looking into our trade-in options and actually got a newer car, fewer miles, with better payments!
Lastly, I snapped the timing belt in my car and was suddenly slapped with a buttload of repair costs. My wife and I looked into our finances and discoverred that with the improvement of our credit and homw much wehad paid down some of our debts, we could consolidate some for a lower payment and thus actually be able to afford the car repairs. We are now going to have the car fixed and a chunk of our debt consolidated with a much lower interest rate, at a lower payment amount, to be paid off sooner!
In each of these instances, it took Significant problems to open my eyes to the opportunites I had available to me and I came to the realization that in all aspects of life, I had easily been sucked into a routine that I rarely, if ever, reviewed for possible betterment. I have a better quality life and a better hold on my finances than I did 1 month ago, and only because I had been forced to take a look at my options.
so today's lesson: Take time regularly to review your life and see if you are missing out on opportunities to improve it!
Lesson Learned... the hard way
Just some friendly advice for everyone. ALWAYS review your situation on a regular basis to see if it can be improved. I have been making the best lemondade lately with Life's Lemons because I didn't follow this simple rule.
First of all, I was set to be laid off back in August, only to realize that my company actually had several jobs (even some promotions) available in my area and had for some time! I realized along with many of my coworkers that we had become so set in our routines we never bothered to look for something better, and it was there all along. I transferred out to a different dept and several of my colleagues were able to be transferred to different locations and retain their positions.
Second, my wife's car started having problems, and we eventually got a diagnosis on something which we really didn't want to be stuck paying to fix. We started looking into our trade-in options and actually got a newer car, fewer miles, with better payments!
Lastly, I snapped the timing belt in my car and was suddenly slapped with a buttload of repair costs. My wife and I looked into our finances and discoverred that with the improvement of our credit and homw much wehad paid down some of our debts, we could consolidate some for a lower payment and thus actually be able to afford the car repairs. We are now going to have the car fixed and a chunk of our debt consolidated with a much lower interest rate, at a lower payment amount, to be paid off sooner!
In each of these instances, it took Significant problems to open my eyes to the opportunites I had available to me and I came to the realization that in all aspects of life, I had easily been sucked into a routine that I rarely, if ever, reviewed for possible betterment. I have a better quality life and a better hold on my finances than I did 1 month ago, and only because I had been forced to take a look at my options.
so today's lesson: Take time regularly to review your life and see if you are missing out on opportunities to improve it!
Lesson Learned... the hard way
Tuesday, September 17, 2013
An interesting Article I came across
I fully believe a healthy diet is important, no matter who you are. This is especially true for many different disorders. ADHD being one of them.
This is an article I came across last fall, in the early stages of this blog, and so this entry was basically just the link. I decided to flesh it out a bit...
I have recently been told I have Non-Alcoholic Fatty Liver Disease. This was discoverred during an annual physical, which I recommend everyone to do EVERY YEAR. My triglycerides were high, as were my liver enzymes. The Dr., who is typically pretty laid back about my diet, brought me back into the office for a follow-up, and basically told me that i'm at that point where if I don't start focusing on my health (mainly diet and exercise) that I could start to see irreversible damage to my liver, among other things. This was a huge wake up call for me.
Since incorporating more fish and berries and leafy greens, and less carbs, sugars, and fruits (aside from berries, obviously) I have noticed my mental health has improved greatly! ADHD is not something that just goes away, but that hyperfocus is happening more often. The drive to get things done is more... driven. My ability to recognize the perspective of those around me instead of just my own has improved. Of course, the desired benefit of physical health is slowly coming to fruition as well. All good things.
so here is an interesting article (at least, it was interesting last fall when I first read it) regarding diet and ADHD. While I wouldn't go so far as to say the diagnosis of ADHD is devastating, the article in general has some food for thought...
http://www.independent.ie/lifestyle/health/nutrition-is-essential-to-keep-adhd-in-check-29582065.html
hope you find this helpful!
This is an article I came across last fall, in the early stages of this blog, and so this entry was basically just the link. I decided to flesh it out a bit...
I have recently been told I have Non-Alcoholic Fatty Liver Disease. This was discoverred during an annual physical, which I recommend everyone to do EVERY YEAR. My triglycerides were high, as were my liver enzymes. The Dr., who is typically pretty laid back about my diet, brought me back into the office for a follow-up, and basically told me that i'm at that point where if I don't start focusing on my health (mainly diet and exercise) that I could start to see irreversible damage to my liver, among other things. This was a huge wake up call for me.
Since incorporating more fish and berries and leafy greens, and less carbs, sugars, and fruits (aside from berries, obviously) I have noticed my mental health has improved greatly! ADHD is not something that just goes away, but that hyperfocus is happening more often. The drive to get things done is more... driven. My ability to recognize the perspective of those around me instead of just my own has improved. Of course, the desired benefit of physical health is slowly coming to fruition as well. All good things.
so here is an interesting article (at least, it was interesting last fall when I first read it) regarding diet and ADHD. While I wouldn't go so far as to say the diagnosis of ADHD is devastating, the article in general has some food for thought...
http://www.independent.ie/lifestyle/health/nutrition-is-essential-to-keep-adhd-in-check-29582065.html
hope you find this helpful!
Sunday, September 15, 2013
Where are my keys? Where is my mind?
9/15/2013
Yesterday morning I had a "moment" when I went on a rare doughnut trip with my 3 year old. We typically eat a more healthy breakfast, but from time to time, it's nice to have a treat. I had inadvertently left my wallet in my car the night before, and realized this (thankfully) before leaving in my wife's car. I went to mine to get the wallet. I saw a blanket in the back seat and thought my daughter, Charlotte, would like it so I took it to her. We then left for the doughnut shop. After I had selected my dozen (and biscuits and gravy for my wife) I went to check out and realized... My wallet was still in my car! So I had them hold my food and drove back home to get my wallet, then back to the doughnut shop to get my food. I waited in line, then realized... I left my wallet in the car! So I had to go out to get my wallet and come back in. in the meantime, someone bought the last of the biscuits and gravy. So then I had to wait for more. When they were done, I paid, and back to the car we went. placed everything in the passenger seat. No car keys. I left them on the counter inside! I went in and got them, and when I got back my wife asked if we had decided to go for drive. I had to explain the morning's events. We all forget our keys, wallets, etc., from time to time. Leave it to me to forget wallet and keys multiple times in one trip LOL
Yesterday morning I had a "moment" when I went on a rare doughnut trip with my 3 year old. We typically eat a more healthy breakfast, but from time to time, it's nice to have a treat. I had inadvertently left my wallet in my car the night before, and realized this (thankfully) before leaving in my wife's car. I went to mine to get the wallet. I saw a blanket in the back seat and thought my daughter, Charlotte, would like it so I took it to her. We then left for the doughnut shop. After I had selected my dozen (and biscuits and gravy for my wife) I went to check out and realized... My wallet was still in my car! So I had them hold my food and drove back home to get my wallet, then back to the doughnut shop to get my food. I waited in line, then realized... I left my wallet in the car! So I had to go out to get my wallet and come back in. in the meantime, someone bought the last of the biscuits and gravy. So then I had to wait for more. When they were done, I paid, and back to the car we went. placed everything in the passenger seat. No car keys. I left them on the counter inside! I went in and got them, and when I got back my wife asked if we had decided to go for drive. I had to explain the morning's events. We all forget our keys, wallets, etc., from time to time. Leave it to me to forget wallet and keys multiple times in one trip LOL
Saturday, September 14, 2013
Random thought of the day...(under construction)
I Spent a lot of time hung up on the fact that people didn't always understand me. It was very frustrating. When I learned to be ok with it, life got much better.
This was one of my least successful posts, when I was still experimenting with where I wanted to take this blog. All that was written is what's above this paragraph. I will however, revisit this topic, when I have a few more voice recordings (As soon as I can figure out how to save them and upload them, giving a voice to the blog.
This was one of my least successful posts, when I was still experimenting with where I wanted to take this blog. All that was written is what's above this paragraph. I will however, revisit this topic, when I have a few more voice recordings (As soon as I can figure out how to save them and upload them, giving a voice to the blog.
Friday, September 13, 2013
My ADHD
I was diagnosed with textbook ADD at the age of five, and have grown up with it. I am now the father of three beautiful, rambunctious girls, and married to a loving, patient woman. I hope to share my experiences and those of my friends and family and of course anyone else who chooses to follow along. I plan on this being a weekly blog, but of course if I see something worth sharing, why wait?
Let me just start with an introduction of my A.D.D.
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